Anyone can become a victim of a crime. If it happens to you or someone you love, here are some important points to remember.
Being a victim of a crime can be a very difficult and stressful experience. While most people are naturally resilient and over time will find ways to cope and adjust, there can be a wide range of after-effects to a trauma. One person may experience many of the effects, a few, or none at all. Not everyone has the same reaction. In some people, the reaction may be delayed days, weeks, or even months. Some victims may think they are “going crazy,” when they are having a normal reaction to an abnormal event.
Getting back to normal can be a difficult process after a personal experience of this kind, especially for victims of violent crime and families of murder victims. Learning to understand and feel more at ease with the intense feelings can help victims better cope with what happened.
Victims may need to seek help from friends, family, a member of the clergy, a counselor, or a victim assistance professional.
Some people who have been victims of crime may experience some of these symptoms. Seek medical advice if the symptoms persist.
- Chills or sweating
- Lack of coordination
- Heart palpitations or chest pains
- High blood pressure
- Sleep disturbances
- Stomach upset
- Loss of appetite
- Startled responses
- Feeling lost, abandoned, and isolated
- Wanting to withdraw or hide
- Slowed thinking
- Memory problems
- Intrusive memories or flashbacks
- Inability to concentrate
- Difficulty in making decisions
These are some ideas that may help you cope with the trauma or loss:
- Find someone to talk with about how you feel and what you are going through. Keep the phone number of a good friend nearby to call when you feel overwhelmed or feel panicked.
- Allow yourself to feel the pain. It will not last forever.
- Keep a journal.
- Spend time with others, but make time to spend time alone.
- Take care of your mind and body. Rest, sleep, and eat regular, healthy meals.
- Re-establish a normal routine as soon as possible, but don’t over-do it.
- Make daily decisions, which will help to bring back a feeling of control over your life.
- Exercise, though not excessively, and alternate with periods of relaxation.
- Undertake daily tasks with care. Accidents are more likely to happen after severe stress.
- Recall the things that helped you cope during trying times and loss in the past and think about the things that give you hope. Turn to them on bad days.
These are things to avoid:
- Be careful about using alcohol or drugs to relieve emotional pain. Becoming addicted not only postpones healing but also creates new problems.
- Make daily decisions, but avoid making life-changing decisions in the immediate aftermath, since judgment may be temporarily impaired.
- Don’t blame yourself—it wasn’t your fault.
- Your emotions need to be expressed. Try not to bottle them up.
For some victims and families of victims, life is forever changed. Life may feel empty and hollow. Life doesn’t “mean” what it used to. Part of coping and adjusting is redefining the future. What seemed important before may not be important now. Many victims find new meaning in their lives as a result of their experiences. It is important to remember that emotional pain is not endless and that it will eventually ease. It is impossible to undo what has happened but life can be good again in time.
- Listen carefully.
- Spend time with the victim.
- Offer your assistance, even if they haven’t asked for help.
- Help with everyday tasks like cleaning, cooking, caring for the family, minding the children.
- Give them private time.
- Don’t take their anger or other feelings personally.
- Don’t tell them they are “lucky it wasn’t worse”—traumatized people are not consoled by such statements.
- Tell them that you are sorry such an event has occurred to them and you want to understand and help them.
Source: FBI: www.fbi.gov